Life walking in this mommies shoes

My complete final exam for my college(my exit exam) is on friday which is tomorrow and im so stress to graduate you have to pass this exam and im so worried i wont. its over all the months of school.:/ i also have my clinicals which im terrified off im so worried ill forget the order of draw or what size needles etc. i know im just scaring myself but it truly is nerve wrecking.but i was completely worried that calebs daycare and stuff was coming through in time for me to start my training in a doctors office but thank the lord my danny is such an amazing man and switched to working a nights because it is getting hotter so it will be cooler at work for him but also now i could go work/train durning the day be home by five at the lastest and him go to work at ten.:D awe things really do work out when you stop trying to control your life and just hand it over to god and watch him make it all work out. :D
Calebs with his curtis today i dont know if your noticing but i only get to blog days he is with him hahaha.any who this with that have certainly change i have lost i believe all thoughts feelings and a lot of memories that involve him && my respect towards him. he cares more about him self than he does anyone else and has gone back to the man who cares more for his girlfriend and her son than his own which is fine cause its not affecting caleb any he has danny by his side everyday and has decided on his own to start calling danny daddy cause i guess thats how caleb sees him. i would never make caleb think thats what he needs to call him danny was fine with me but he decided daddy or daddy danny works better for him. it feels even stronger now that mine and calebs lives would be better without the switch offs to see curtis cause it doesnt feel like thats even his dad anymore i dont know if its just cause in my eyes and in my heart i know the man im sending him to see is not the man i once loved or who got me pregnant he looks the same but thats no longer him. or i dont know if its just because it feels like that life is a whole another world for me and caleb now but either way i just feel like its no longer needed i hear people say all the time caleb needs a dad but just because curtis is his biological father does mean he is his dad if that makes sense. but i mean yes caleb can have two father and two mothers im sure it will happen. but im just saying that father of the year wouldnt be to curtis he doesnt help it just feels like im sending him to a sitter but im sure ill become numb to the idea of sending him over there soon just like i become numb to the idea of the old life i had with him and caleb he was and still is quick sand but the best advice ive gotten and im sticking too his from his family that i do deserve better i dont need to be treated that way love shouldnt hurt and its not a game you dont play with people hearts like he does and its not good for caleb to see his father behaving in such a way but to just keep my mind and heart focused on caleb school and danny because i have better love to come home too every night. && they agreed sometime the other men are better dads than the biological ones i guess only time can heal the rest of this situation but i do know conversations need to only revolve around caleb i need to know nothing about his job family friends love life etc and he needs to know nothing about mine. all that communication needs to remind cut off.