Life walking in this mommies shoes

Last night i remember falling asleep by my self cause Curtis left to get dinner,Walmart,then hung out with his brother for a bit and then he came home and climbed into bed and fell asleep holding me(i know this cause his movement on the bed woke me semi up)last i checked we weren't together? He his more bi polar then people who have to get medical help for that. I'm getting extreme whip lash for all his mixed signals and guys go on and go about they don't know what girls want and we never know what we want, um excuse me who is the one who is completely sure about their feelings and what they want just as sure as they are the sun is going to come up? yeah that would be this lady right here.I honestly don't see how difficult it is too just make up your mind its been home many months now like nine since all this stuff happened and he is still dwelling on it and can't move on and just be happy with our relationship and our family and just be completely and utterly in love. well too him i guess it is too difficult.Today i sat down with him before he left for work and just asked him if i should just move on a date someone else and etc etc he answered with i it would probably be better then me sitting here wait forever. Maybe i really should but the thought of even being with someone else makes me sick to my stomach like it just feels so wrong for me to be with anyone else just as wrong as if i was to date a girl(totally okay with other people doing it but its just not for me).so I'm completely flustered,and i know it should bother me but it does he works with this girl and she keeps picking him up and taking him to work when the cars is available but it still bugs me majorly even tho i know he isn't mine anymore and she isn't his type at all and doesn't see here that way but it still bring out all these insecurities i never even knew i had. He told me a funny story about that girl today tho i guess he had her drop him off at his moms house one night and his mom saw her and she flipped out on him she started just going bonkers lol and it made me happy that he got told off because Ive been wanting too and it made me happy that his mom cares enough about me to not get hurt and for her to step in and make sure he doesn't do something stupid but honestly he might as well do something stupid cause he is already losing me any way (which i think is perfectly okay with him.I keep praying and talking to god and everything and it makes me feel better after i do cause i vent and he is a very good listener but that only last so long because were still stuck like this were still not going any where nothings fixed so i get frustrated with god a little because i read Caleb a bible story the other night and he was talking about how he was healing all the broken hearts and people dying and etc etc with in minutes its been months why can't he just fix Curtis's and help make this better cause i can't do this on my own Ive been trying and it isn't working like i really really really.....need his help! Like i don't even think curtis understand how completely aware of him i am i honestly don't think id want him too but i am,I'd honestly spend the rest of my life getting him to love me again and fix this if i had him but i don't so what am i a post to do like honestly. i need some kind of a sign i need help like really god i know you can hear me just give me a sign give me something anything.